You can't cut corners

It's ok to fail

It's ok to be insecure

It's ok to have complexes

It's ok to be rude

IT's ok to get a reaction from those around you

THATS HOW YOU LEARN!

Like the A-HA, you wont do shit if you don't really understand the problem. If someone will say "Man, you always overreact! Stop it!" - is he right? am i overreacting? i didn't feel i am, why should i listen to him?

If you do listento them,  and most of us do, you'll just be super self aware of situations and context, consciously working on your behaviour, was oposed to a natural subconscious apporach to the same situation. (most likely oyu know charismatic people that are really in their element when you are actively/consciously working on that element)

You can't cut corners in life. Sometimes the way to learn is to actually make that mistake you feel comming.

I'll give an example:
Somebody tells you need to be more efficient in your work, better technical overview. Is that true? What about your other strong points that lead you there? Why pursue a path suggested by otherss..

We live our lives lately guided by one page quotes, best practices and 7 step programs to guide us somewhere. But it won't stick, because we don't get the A-HA, because we try to be "more confident" by actively being aware, but in reality you'll cover 10% of it by reading (and this is if you consciously follow directions)

How about, don't be confident. How about go to that meeting and be yourself. You'll mess it up! You'll get bad feedback like: "man you didn't prepare at all, don't you write your notes on paper??", oh, notes on paper, got it, there's my a-ha. If i read a reader's digest version of how to prep for a conference, i'd have 100 things i need to be aware of and won't ever be able to follow them.And most likely i'll forget about the "write your notes on paper advice". But when my feedback came, in a hursh manner, boy i tell you, i'll remember that, subcosnciously!

Nevertheless, advice is good. In terms that it point you to leads you have to connect yourself.

I'll give an example: grandma sais,smoking is bad. Is it bad? No! i fucking love smoking, i miss everydayof it. Yet, i've quit. Why? Is it because grandma told me? No. Becaus ei realised it on my own, but then i clicked my reasons with what i've been told and all of a sudden their points make sense, and their experience matter and you get to listen more actively to "your elders" or whatever you want to call it. It's the moment when you've matched the leads you've been given around you to the experience and your own a-ha's and that my friend, is a lesson learnt!I guess it's that moment in time when you realise you say the same things as adults say: "maaaan.. kids these days.. " :)

I'll give another example. I always wanted to stick to the gym. I wanted those abs and healthy body. I started by saying, i'll go to the gym when i quit smoking. I didn't quit, so i never went. Then i read about suplements and all that jazz, so i bought 100$ worth of powders to get fit, which of course were thrown out the window. Then i actually went to the gym once. I gave up the next day. Then i went again and i had an accident. Then i read the "how to stick to the gym" article, bla bla, i wont bore you but it's the usual jazz you always hear. Make a schedule, reward yourself, set minor goals etc. It doesn't work for me!?!? i'm lazy as fuck, i don't have a schedule for my life and work you think i'll do it for the gym? Sure maybe the first day, then i've probably lost the schedule all together.

Then i had my first lead - not the thing that made me do it but a lead i clicked later - It was Elliot from youtube, some guy asked him what keeps him motivated to go to the gym and he said (long story short) : "i don't have motivation man, this is WHAT I DO! monday wednesday thursday, i go to the gym... like you have to go to work, that's whati do! I go to the gym! Can you come have a drink with us on Wednesday? Sure! After i comeback from the gym, it's ME not a thing i do to share on facebook ".. And i clicked the fact that every gym guy i know.. just does it, no questions, no motivation, they don't give speeches on how to stick to the gym (at best they give you sarcastic feedback when you give up).. so i reflected why can they do it and i cannot.. humm...

Anyway.. In a different article i read i found another lead: "whatever you attempt to do, keep trying.. you'll get better" so i tried that on purpose. Mechanically, i didn't believe iin it but i gave it a chance.

So i went again to the gym, this time with a personal instructor. I managed to go 3 months in a row! Never missed a session. Results were visible. My whole view has changed, i understood how important "GOING" is, as opposed to one time, giving up etc. I understood why having a good posture helps oyu not injure yourself.

I gave up again due to reaosns i don't deserve explaning, let's just say i failed again. But, deep down, now i KNOW, how i can get those abs. I'm back in the gym now, and i hope it will last, I have become indeed one of those i only read about before that looked forward to going to the gym.

If i fail, i'll do it again. Better!

Point being, im not telling you how to go to the gym. I'm telling you that all your advices are just leads. You and you alone have to connect the dots. Either by doing and clicking, or by failing. Whenever you fail you automatically do a retrospective, and you see what you've done wrong. Don't expect you'll cut corners in life by reading this article!

Go out there and be yourself, make mistakes, don't stop making mistakes because other people tell you to, stop making mistakes because you understand them!

If you keep at it, you'll make less and less mistakes! In the end... you'll do it!

Peace out!
D